The Weight We Carry and the Myth of “Let It Go”
By Anahita Mehrdoust January 30th 2026
“You always mess things up.” A passing comment, but it sticks. You feel it in your chest with a flutter of self-doubt. Why do people say things like this? Whatever the reason, the effect is the same: these small but sharp moments embed themselves in memory. They are not easily forgotten. They often return when we least expect them.
These kinds of experiences aren’t limited to words or comments. Some things stay with us longer than we expect: a mistake we cannot seem to forgive ourselves for, or even fear of a situation that hasn’t happened yet. Letting them go is not easy. They linger, quietly shaping the way we feel and move through the world, even when we’re told, “Just let it go.”
Emotions, thoughts, and the space they take
The weight we carry can be invisible to others, and sometimes even to ourselves. It can show up as tension in our bodies. When we feel a tightness in our chest, our thoughts pull us in every direction, or that sense of heaviness that follows us through our days, it can be hard to carry on. These are familiar, aren’t they? And this is while people around us might say, “Just let it go!”
This weight can be emotional, mental, and sometimes even physical. There are those unresolved emotions within us: sadness, anger, regret, guilt, or fear. There may be past experiences that were harsh, mistakes we made, or conflicts we went through. But it’s not only about the past. They can also show themselves in the future, in worries about what might happen or pressure to perform. With all of this going on, we might hear a whispering voice in our head: “I’m not enough,” or “I should have done better.” These tiny words take up a surprising amount of space in our minds and bodies. This weight matters because it shapes our inner life and well-being. It can limit our c 2020larity. When thoughts and emotions pile up, it’s harder to see situations clearly. Tension, restlessness, or even chronic stress can stem from carrying invisible burdens. In this context, when our internal space is crowded, we often react unconsciously rather than acting with agency.
Why letting go is not simple
Letting go is often described as a simple choice, but experience shows that the process is anything but easy. Our brains are wired to hold on to emotionally significant experiences, signaling the body to remember and react to them. But why is it this way?
Our brain system evolved for survival. We, as early humans, needed to remember threats and dangerous situations so we wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes. As long as we had strong emotions and memories to remember them, we had higher chances of survival. In a way, we could say this is the reason humans are here today. Even today, non-life-threatening experiences, like a harsh word or a mistake, trigger the same circuitry, because the brain doesn’t always distinguish between a true physical threat and an emotional one. Therefore, this is why letting it go is not simple, because what we carry once protected us. That specific fear kept us alert, that deep guilt kept us careful, and that regret taught us something. Hyper-awareness helped us survive emotionally or socially. Letting go is not just dropping something heavy; it can feel like betraying a version of ourselves that was trying to cope. What we carry often began as a form of care. The mind learned to hold on because it believed something important might be lost otherwise. What we carry is not a clear thought. It lives as sensations, reflexes, tone, posture, and hesitation. That is why advice like “let it go” feels useless. The weight does not seem fully conscious. We can not release what we have not felt or recognized yet. This is the reason awareness comes before release.
Inward movement and noticing
You might be surprised, but the first step is not to let it go. Instead, let it be and simply notice it. Noticing asks us to slow down enough to sense what is already present, without trying to change it. Awareness begins when we allow the signals our body receives to exist without labeling them as problems. Instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this?” we can begin with, “What is here right now?” This shift is a foundational practice in self-awareness and emotional wellbeing.
This kind of attention can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable, because it interrupts our habit of moving quickly past inner experiences. We are often trained to override discomfort, distract ourselves, or push through. Yet developing emotional intelligence here means learning to stay with what arises, especially when it is not pleasant. The body speaks in sensations rather than explanations, and the mind communicates through tone and repetition more than clear statements. When we listen in this way, we begin to recognize patterns without being overwhelmed by them. Awareness creates space. Not space to fix or resolve everything at once, but enough room for choice to emerge.
Over time, noticing can also cultivate curiosity and gentle compassion toward ourselves. We begin to see that the sensations, thoughts, or emotions we once judged or avoided are part of us as humans. This curiosity gives us the space that allows the inner landscape to reveal itself gradually. Even small moments like pausing to sense tension in a shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of breath, or noting a fleeting thought, can shift how we relate to ourselves. Awareness does not erase difficulty, but it softens our relationship with it, creating a subtle resilience that deepens emotional well-being and strengthens our capacity for choice.
Challenge the “let it go” narrative
The inner world can be imagined as a large house with many rooms, each holding a different part of experience, memories, fears, regrets, or joys. When the idea of “letting it go” leads us to avoidance, many of these rooms remain unopened. Healing can be seen as slowly opening these doors, allowing light and air to move through, letting what is inside be seen and felt. This process helps connect the pieces of oneself and provides a deeper understanding of the inner world that avoidance could never provide.
Next time, when you are in a difficult situation and hear someone say, “Just let it go,” it can be helpful to remember what has been shared here. Instead of pushing the feeling away, it might be experienced fully and felt.
